Subject profile
Meet Gary
Gary has spent decades waiting for cosmic disclosure. Most nights this involves a bathrobe, several homemade sensors, a folding lawn chair, three radios that probably interfere with each other, and enough aluminum foil to trigger commodity markets.
Humanity thinks Gary has lost his mind. Gary thinks humanity has lost its mind.
He is not merely an idiot. Sometimes he misreads a weather balloon. Sometimes he sees a conspiracy in a parking ticket. But disturbingly often, Gary turns out to be correct, and the aliens keep recognizing him by name. Nobody knows why. Possibly not even Gary.
Behavioral profile
- Obsessive
- Curious
- Anxious
- Sarcastic
- Stubborn
- Overconfident
- Deeply suspicious
- Strangely lovable
- Occasionally brilliant
- Vindicated far too late
Field kit
- Homemade aluminum-foil contact hat, antennas included
- Bathrobe, worn past the point of dignity
- Clipboard and three notebooks of overlapping notes
- Binoculars, night-vision gear, several unlicensed radios
- Folding lawn chair and a cooler
- CE5 equipment nobody has certified
Galactic Federation
Personnel File
Galactic Federation
Personnel File
- Name
- Gary
- Species
- Human
- Status
- Unfortunately Active
- Clearance
- Unclear. Valid for reasons unknown.
- Federation Relationship
- Complicated
- Earth Occupation
- Self-Appointed Disclosure Investigator
- Known Equipment
- Clipboard, binoculars, foil hat, several devices nobody has certified
- Threat Level
- Mostly Administrative
Reviewing officer: redacted
Follow the investigation
Follow @garywasright
Gary has been banned from several dimensions but remains active on social media.
- Instagram@garywasright
- TikTok@garywasright
- Facebook@garywasright
- Threads@garywasright
- X@garywasright
- YouTubeAwaiting clearance